Ouch.

 "בדרך שאדם רוצה לילך מוליכין אותו"

"B'derech she'adam rotzeh leilech molichin oto"

Whatever path you choose in order to fulfill Torah requirements, no matter how misguided, G-d assists you.

So this morning I want to take care of something I have been avoiding for a long time. It’s going to be difficult and possibly painful for not only me but all other parties involved, however there is an injustice going on and I do not intend to just stand and watch it. I honestly think I am probably the only person who can change the situation but without the cooperation of others involved it will much harder to get this issue resolved.

This post is basically a prayer to Hashem.

It’s a prayer that Hashem will put exactly the right words in my mouth, the wisdom to know what details to fight about and also when to keep my mouth shut. I just hope the situation hasn’t fallen apart to the point where the pieces can’t be put back together. I also pray that no one thinks that I’m doing this for any personal reason. Actually, I do have a personal reason involved. I’m doing this for the sake of my sanity. I have already lost countless nights of sleep over this issue and if I ever want to get any good REM sleep ever again I gotta know that I did all that I can. Oh, and for my psych majors, there is some major cognitive dissonance going on here as well.

So by now you are probably dying of curiosity to know what is 

going on. I doubt any of the people involved read my blog but I am still hesitant to violate their privacy though I think everyone, including myself would have a lot to learn from this story. I cant tell you my story, but you can tell me yours. Here is the lesson I learned, see if you can relate or create your own story or situation.

Sometimes in our lives there are people we cannot understand. They are different. They may look different, speak differently, have different societal norms, have a lower IQ, be psychologically or emotionally disturbed, etc. I always thought of myself as a tolerant person. I always thought “Oh, you’re not like me? You say you are different? Don’t worry, we can still work together!” Don’t get me wrong this still holds true. It is just that I never realized that I had a prerequisite for someone to be on the receiving end of my tolerant behavior. In order for me to treat you the same as anyone else, you need to consciously be aware of the fact that you are different.

Yah, I know, I’m a horrible person. Trust me, it took me a while to come to this conclusion but I think now that I’m aware of the more subconscious decisions I make, I can hopefully fix this in myself. I have some theories on why I and other people might behave like this, but I’ll save those for later. Now the only way I feel like I can fix this is by making this person’s life a little easier. I need fix the way people treat this person by setting a personal example. Trust me this aint going to be easy. Some people are difficult to tolerate and I have got to be careful that I don’t get abused or taken advantage of either. All I know is that this is why I’m here. This is why I’m involved in this situation. Because I am the one who can fix it.

"Whatever path you choose in order to fulfill Torah requirements, no matter how misguided, G-d assists you."

Hashem, this is my path. Guide me.